DAY 25: Silent Observer

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a silent observer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to sit idly by as a silent observer, abdicating my voice and my participation within reality as the words I speak; to not take action in situations and to only gather information and knowledge to store within my mind to organize and keep secret to myself as I watch the world pass by.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my voice, from time to time, within situations where I would prefer to not participate within conversations due to shyness/fear I experience and unwillingness to communicate openly with other human beings.

I forgive myself myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a shy person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as shy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unwilling to participate within conversation with other human beings due to a fear to communicate openly with another.

I forgive myself that I accept and allow myself to experience fear within situations where I see myself being exposed to openness in communication with other human beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire only saying the bare minimum in conversation  because I would rather speak as little as possible - giving only sound bites instead of fully explaining myself and communicating honestly with another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play guessing games with people where I'll say as little as possible, wanting them to guess what I'm meaning to say - instead of saying what I mean and not playing games with people's heads.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire that people guess and try to figure out what I'm saying to them using as little words/speech as possible - instead of fully explaining myself and speaking specifically and directly in situations or putting it all on the table, as it were.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire not explaining myself - I realize that not wanting to explain myself is another form of hiding from myself and another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer exhibiting a silent exterior while all the while thoughts are buzzing in my mind within me, making wild assumptions/accusations about the situation(s) I am participating in - instead of asking questions or communicating to people about the situation here physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in 'thinking' myself through a task or activity, encouraging myself to participate within thoughts/feelings/emotions even more - instead of talking myself through, Here, physically where reality is actually occurring and I can actually live the words and enjoy the activity or task in stability as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as crazy for talking to myself during activities I participate within.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that having voices in my head that I have defined as me is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my voice or the words I speak because of a fear of being told that I'm wrong or being told 'no'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being told that I am wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being told 'no'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience/participate in anger when another tells me I am wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience/participate in anger when another tells me 'no'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is my ego that is affected or given offense when I am told I'm wrong or told no - I realize that who I am is capable of taking criticism from another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain quite when and as I experience anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I stay quiet when I experience anger, it's likely that I will have an outburst an possibly say something I could have done without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stumbling or stuttering my words when I speak - I realize that this fear only substantiates the stumbling and stuttering that may occur.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making another or others angry when I speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making sense or logic.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I am the words I speak.

I commit myself to open myself to communication with others.

I commit myself to using my words within what is best for all - within equality and oneness.

When and I see myself fearing to speak in a situation, I stop myself form participating within the fear to speak  and realize that this fear is not who I am and that I am the words I speak - so I direct myself, I breath and I move myself through this point.

When and as I see myself desiring to remain a silent observer, I stop myself from participating within the desire to remain a silent observer and I speak and participate within reality and the moment - I direct myself, I am breathing and I move myself through this point.