DAY 8: A Fear, Myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself as this reality as consequence of what has been accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear the reality of myself such that I desire to sleep through my life like it's a bad dream only to wake up when it's over and everything has been fixed without me having to do anything - I realize that I am a participant within this reality and therefore I am self-responsible for what has transpired/what is happening here so I face the consequences of what has been accepted and allowed no matter what.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire to sleep through my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire sleeping for eternity, instead of facing myself and manifested consequence - I realize that I am not this desire to sleep, but the desire to sleep forever is a self-defense mechanism of the ego designed to keep me asleep instead of waking up and facing myself directly with open eyes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear walking a process of self because I am aware of the nature of myself as thoughts, feelings, and emotions and I would rather not face the truth of myself as who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a comfortableness within the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions because that is currently all I've ever known and I've never taken the time to have a look and see if there is anything more to this reality than that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare reality to a bad dream, hoping that it will just go away and I can wake up later when it's over.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that the fucked up state of existence will simply pass on without any time taken to change what's actually going on within myself which causes the current state of existence as manifested consequence of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the state of the world may pass on by itself, like a dream, where I can sleep and do nothing in order for a change to come about - I realize that in order for a change to happen, I must change myself first in order for an externalization of change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tempt myself into giving up on myself so I do not have to face myself head on through self-writing, self-forgiveness, and self-directive application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire giving up on myself and sleeping until I die so that I don't have to put up with physical reality as it stands in this moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire that walking a process of self to be easier - I realize that walking a process of self take dedication, discipline, and will be difficult, but all in all simple.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that walking a process of self is simple as it is really just breathing, self-writing, self-forgiveness, self-directive application, self-honesty, and walking through the process and existence itself within the principle of equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as this physical existence - I realize that I am physical and existence is within me and outside me as me in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel discouraged about waking myself out of my sleep and having to face this reality that I have accepted and allowed to exist as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push off self-writing, self-forgiveness, and self-directive application by sleeping myself through it - I realize that sleeping through self-writing, self-forgiveness, and self-directive application is absolutely impractical and ineffective as I will come to it again no matter if I sleep or not because I cannot sleep forever.

I realize that I am not this fear of facing myself. I realize that I am not this fear of facing reality and physical existence.

I commit myself to face myself in all facets of reality as what I have accepted and allowed. I commit myself to face myself as the mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions. I commit myself to face the physical reality and all the manifested consequences of what has been accepted and allowed.

When and as I see myself going into/participating in a fear of facing myself as reality and what I have accepted and allowed, I stop myself from participating within the fear of facing myself as this reality as what I have accepted and allowed and realize that I am not this fear of facing myself, but it is a fear of the mind as it has to look itself in the mirror directly without any smoke or deception - I stop and breath and I direct myself through the point of facing myself with and as self-honesty and, getting through the point, I release myself from it.