This happens often when I consider that I am going to type out a bog for the day, I experience myself going into a fear that I will have nothing to say or write about. I can honestly say that it also has to do with a fear of myself not having anything to talk about. I've experienced this within myself during conversations within a group, where I'll often worry that I'm being too boring by not saying anything at all so then I worry that I'll have to say something just to keep the talking going, but a lot of times my mind will go blank likes it's sort of playing a game with me - as if it's attempting to perpetuate the silence within me. I even allow it to continue by defining myself as a listener or a good listener when I know within me that I have things to say or rather things I can speak up about, but I've let myself become silent as a listener/observer.
Another way I 'deal' with this point is when I have thoughts where I'll prepare conversations ahead of time with people in my thoughts. It's as if the thoughts are attempting to beacon to something that's not really there. The thoughts are sort of directed towards an idea/prediction of what a being is going to present themselves as at the moment I meet up with them in reality. This is fucked up because the grand majority of the time the conversations I've participating in within my mind never happen and instead of actually having the conversations I could have had I end up limiting the conversation to a lot of bullshit to talk about.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within a fear/worry that I will not have anything to write about.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear/worry about not having anything to talk about to people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within thoughts that I do not have anything to write about or say aloud.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear/worry that I will be perceived as boring if I remain silent for a moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must keep talking about things in order to seem interesting and/or to keep the conversation going.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind needs to be filled with a lot of interesting thoughts and idea in order for me to communicate.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that my mind is playing tricks on me if it goes blank for a moment when I desire to speak up during a conversation - I realize that I am not this perception of the mind playing tricks on me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require my mind in order to communicate - I realize that I do not require the mind in order to communicate.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a quiet person - I realize that I am not this definition I have labeled myself as a quiet person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate myself being quiet by continuing to not speak up and communicate to others.
I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to define myself as a listener in order to accept myself as silence and allowing myself to not speak up - I realize that I am not this definition of listener.
I forgive myself that I have accepted myself as being silent and not speaking up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a silent observer.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing myself from a silent observer to one who speaks up and communicates to others within oneness and equality - I realize that I am not this fear of change I experience as changing myself from observer to a participant within equality and oneness.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to prepare conversations ahead of time with people in my thoughts because I fear not having anything to say when I meet them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that I am directing thoughts towards an idea/prediction of what a being is going to present themselves as the moment I meet up with them in reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a presentation of myself by directing thoughts towards an idea of a supposed future event wherein I meet and speak with another being.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to have an actual conversation with a being.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to only communicating about thoughts and ideas instead of participating in actual physical conversation.
I realize that I am not this fear/worry of not having anything to write about.
I realize that I am not this fear of not having anything to talk about.
When and as I see myself going into/participating within a fear of not having anything to talk/write about, I stop myself from participating within this fear of not having anything to communicate about and I realize that I am not this point of fear (or any point of fear), I stop and breath and direct myself within self honesty through and out of the point to release it from myself.
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