I have fear of seeming crazy when I talk to people about things. This has shown itself a lot more since I've been self-writing and self-forgiving more and posting it out in 'public', on Facebook primarily. The word 'crazy' implies something out of the ordinary, even mad or insane. I suppose the 'ordinary' could be considered what the 'norm' of the world is in the present time period. To me, it seems the 'norm' of the world is accepting of secrecy, uncertainty, following patterns that society has laid out as sort of ground rules for the people to follow and 'living' by or being a part of the system in society; keeping things the way they have been for quite some time. There are other accepted norms of course. Looks like what the current normal accepted social patterns that the world stands as today isn't working. The current system doesn't support Life in any way what-so-ever.
What seems crazy to me is that the tools of self-honest self-writing and self-forgiveness would be taken at face-value as crazy or insane. What's crazy about open and honest communication and exposing ourselves as who we to one another as human beings? Or giving ourselves back to ourselves instead of being distracted by buzzing in our heads? I would definitely rather be completely honest with a person than to lie to another and only speak words that I have perceived as the words they only want to hear. I've had enough of the bullshit.
Along with this fear comes the fear of speaking aloud in front of others. It goes along with the fear of seeming crazy. I fear that even speaking out words might make me seems crazy. There's no reason that I shouldn't feel totally comfortable with speaking up. Speaking is very pleasant actually.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might be perceived as crazy for communicating about self-honesty with another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might be perceived as crazy for communicating about self-forgiveness with another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might be perceived as crazy for communicating about self-writing with another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might be perceived as crazy for communicating about things that are different to the current socially accepted norms.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that what I blog about or self-write might be taken at face-value as crazy or insane.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others might perceive my blogs/writing as crazy/insane.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become affected by the judgments of other human beings judging me or what I've blogged about as out of the ordinary or socially unacceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the Seven Year Process to Nothingness might be considered crazy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people might take the Seven Year Process to Nothingness as negative.
I forgive myself that I am accepting and allowing myself to worry that I might not be posting enough in a blog for people to understand the words that I communicate - I realize that I only need to write what is required for me to understand and realize for myself the points that I face.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking in front of people - I realize that I am not this fear of speaking in front of people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking out at seemingly random times, when others might deem it unacceptable - I realize/understand that at all time is an acceptable time to stand up within myself and speak.
I realize that I am not this fear of being perceived as crazy.
I realize that I am not this fear of people perceiving my blogs as crazy.
I realize that I am not really being affected by other people's judgments, but that the mind makes it
'believable' that I am and only I can give permission to being affected by another's judgments, therefore I am responsible for what I accept and allow within me.
When and as I see myself going into fear as what others are perceiving me as, as if I am being perceived as crazy, I stop myself from participating in the fear of being perceived as crazy, I breath and realize that I am the director of myself and the fear does not move me/that I am not the fear of being perceived as crazy - I stop and delete the fear in a breath.
When and as I see myself reacting in fear to what I am perceiving people are perceiving my blogs as possibly crazy, I stop myself from participating in the fear of being perceived as crazy, I breath and realize that I am the director of myself and this fear doesn't move me/I not this fear that people may perceive my blogs as crazy - I stop and let it go with one breath.
When and as I see myself being affected through fearing other people's judgments, I stop myself from participating in fearing people's judgments, I breath and realize that I am not this fear of other people's judgments and I am directing myself and this fear does not, so I stop and let it go with one breath.
When and as I see myself reacting in fear to speaking up in front of others, I stop myself from participating in the fear of speaking up in front of others, I breath and realize that I am not this fear of speaking up in front of others and I am directing myself and this fear does not move me - I stop, I let it go with one breath.
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